


I'll Miss You

by Gray_skies_and_pink_clouds



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Have fun reading this garbage, He honestly wrote more of this than I did, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Just leave me a my gay angst alone, M/M, My proofreader is darkstrangeson go check him out, Second half not proof read because we die like men, trigger warning panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 16:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21102290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gray_skies_and_pink_clouds/pseuds/Gray_skies_and_pink_clouds
Summary: Nico had a mental breakdown so does Willl it's fun and exciting.Look its angsty, gay, and Rick Riordan I swear it's good I just can't summarize. Its kinda a prequel to a fanfiction I previously posted "I Missed you" but it does stand alone.Edit: guys this is so grammatically incorrect just it's bad I'm sorry but of course I'm not fixing it.





	I'll Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> Haha why are you reading this

I hear the door slam but not really. Everything’s a blur and suddenly my face is wet. My instinct is to cry out but all my brain wants is silence. I want to be gone from the world. To be but a floating being in the abyss.  
The knocking is a constant, although I’m not sure when it started. I want him gone, but at the same time I don’t. His voice is soft and stricken with tears, with the pauses and the swallows, and the repeating of words.

"N-neeks c-come on please, /talk/ to me," the way he sounded so broken, and worried I hated it. I wanted to open the door and hug him, I wanted to shadow travel away, I wanted to be gone.  
I didn’t say anything I simply sat there and wished for all the sound to be gone from the world. He opened the door, I could hear it but didn’t look up. I stare at the floor as if I can make it combust if I concentrate hard or long enough. He spoke, voice again making me want to do nothing but melt I into him but my brain telling me I may as well die if I do that. 

"I'm sorry, how do I fix this," he pleaded, that's when I looked up at him. His face was red from crying, tears still silently falling down his face. His posture was off, he looked as if he was to tall. Will never looked to tall, he had the right personality to be that tall, but somehow he looked like a small child who was lost in a mall and needed help. If the thought of touching a human being didn't make my heart beat faster than I thought possible, I would have hugged him, I should have hugged him but I just couldn’t. Then I thought about what he'd done and I was filled with rage again. 

“You-you can’t fix something like this Will. You signed up for something you May die for and it was a stupid decision and just what if something bad-“ He cuts me off. 

"I WAS CHOSEN FOR A QUEST NICO, I CAN'T CONTROL THAT" the way he yelled wasn't directly at me he seemed angry with himself. But instead of addressing the problem and talking about it I scream back.

"YOU COULD HAVE DECLINED YOU COULD COULD HAVE MADE UP AN EXCUSE ABOUT BEING NEEDED IN THE INFIRMARY!" Tears were at my eyes but I blinked and looked away. I can’t, at least not in front of Will. 

"N-nico," they way his voice broke, the way I could hear his heart shatter, I wanted to scream again, "Neeks, please, I'm sorry, I couldn't decline, I just couldn't what if - what if they got hurt along the way, what if someone dies and I could have saved them?" This is what sets me over the edge.

"WHAT ABOUT YOU? WHAT IF YOU GET HURT? WHAT IF YOU DIE? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?" The thought that I'd been repressing for an hour now surfaced it's way to the top of my mind, /what if Will dies?/ over and over again on a loop, I don't know when I stood up but I'm on the floor again, my world spinning and my breaths shallow and few. My mind whirls, /what if Will dies?/ the entire world closes off and I'm left there in a ball. 

After a while I look up again, Will is sitting on my bed staring at the floor. The next few hours are a blur, I know we talked some more a bit calmer this time but with as much emotion, I started crying, he did too, we hugged, I think I had another panic attack, at some point we both fell asleep, we woke up, he left to get ready for his quest, and that brought us here in front of the big cabin. 

I was holding on to him in near tears, and he was holding on to me just as tight. He was talking to me but I stopped listening a long time ago, more focused on the way his chest vibrates when he spoke, the way his arms felt wrapped around me, the way he smelled, everything I could possibly think to remember. 

Then he moved and I was face to face with him.

"I love you Neeks"  
"I love you too" I reply somehow not bursting into tears. He kissed me, and for a moment everything was ok. It was just like how after every practice he kisses me and I make some stupid remark about PDA. For a moment I had as close to normal as things get for me. 

Then he pulled away and I was face to face with him again.  
"Don't die", I say for some reason, as if that statement will keep the worst from happening.  
"I'll try my best."  
I buried myself into his chest again and held onto every moment that past until he pushed me away to be face to face again.  
"I will be back in two weeks, tops" there is a sternness to his voice that makes me believe for a second that he's right.  
I body head and he kisses me one for time, and once again I'm okay for a few moments until we pull away. 

"I'll miss you" I say trying not to cry again.  
"I love you so, so much Neeks. Please remember that," I nod.  
"I-I love you to t-tesoro"  
We hug and just like that, he's gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments make the world go round


End file.
